Sunday, February 14, 2010

Don’t measure my efforts by your expectations.

The subject of Kilts/skirts has brought me to thinking about my life a lot lately. So many adults are badly 'broken' by our society in ways that are hard to fix. In our society, from the time we are born, we are exposed to negative conditioning. This conditioning usually comes from our parents, grandparents, religious affiliations, and the media.

We are taught to be uncomfortable with our thoughts, our bodies, and even our joy. In many ways the twin fangs of guilt and sin are sunk into our souls and the joy is sucked out of our lives. Effectively, this causes us to deaden parts of our minds and bodies to awareness, sensation, and, ultimately, a joyful life. No one should feel guilt over their strife to well being.

When we suffer emotional hurts and disappointments in the course of our lives, we further armor ourselves to protect ourselves from pain - physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual pains - but this only hampers our ability later in life to seek out our individual truths and experience true joy freely. This armoring is heavier than steel, and greatly interferes with our full realization as human beings, and with our enjoyment of our senses, our emotions, spiritual acceptance and indeed our entire psychological well being.

People can learn to deal with their pain, not hide or suppress it; the pain may never go away, but it does not need to control our life. Finding a way to deal with one’s pain can take many turns. When one path does not work you should not quit, or feel as if it was a failure, more as elimination of paths. Gaining a true understanding can take many years and is not easily found….. unfortunately.

I have been told many women deal with the trauma of rape with overeating. Some turn to drugs still others may confront the pain by working as a rape crisis counselor. No one “fix” works for everyone and often it takes more than one approach to deal with it effectively. Most often the “fix” seems only to separate the problem from the person, not solve or overcome.

Emotional / psychological / spiritual / physical well being all go hand in hand. Everyone should have a balance between all, but equally important; should give up one to achieve another. If someone give up their emotional health in order to gain physical well being… what have they gain?

The trauma of rape creates an emotional trench. A person’s happiness and wellbeing has fallen into it, this happiness is not gone, but it will take work to get it back. Dealing with crisis is not easy and its effects are different for everyone. Contrary to the TV ads no magic pill can fill in this trench thereby floating happiness to the top…. It WILL require work.
Don’t measure my efforts by your expectations.


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