Understanding Wives' Expectations, Fears, and Prejudices

Although my wife jealously defend her own freedom to wear both trousers or skirts, she sees nothing wrong in denying her husband the same freedom of choice. Many women refuse to acknowledge the illogical and inequality of this situation. Even when wives recognize the unfairness on an intellectual level, they may continue to object based on their emotional reactions and deep-seated prejudices. Therefore, we must understand the sources of these emotions and prejudices and create strategies to deal with them.
The most important sources involve a wife's expectations, fears, and prejudices. These are my views:

Expectations. When you got married, your wife wasn't marrying just you; she was also marrying her idealized fantasy of what she expected in a husband. You just happened to be a convenient approximation of that fantasy. While courting, you did your part by trying to conform to her fantasy. She was even willing to overlook some imperfections, hoping to "change" you into a more ideal personification after the wedding. (Women aren't the only ones who have such expectations. At the same time, you were probably expecting her to fulfill your fantasies.)

Your wife's fantasy of the ideal husband and sexual partner may have been drawn from many sources - impressions of her father or other male relatives; teen-age heart-throbs that she and her girlfriends used to drool over; heroes in romantic novels; attractive male celebrities in movies or on television. Unless she had a thing for Mel Gibson in Braveheart, the chances are that all these men wore trousers.

To further complicate matters, you and she were not the only players in this game. She may also have been influenced by the expectations and opinions of her parents and peer group. She may have wanted a husband who would make her look good in their eyes, thereby bolstering her self-esteem.

On a more pragmatic level, she probably expected you to provide her with security. She expected you to be strong and protective, both physically and emotionally. She expected you to hold a steady job that provided sufficient income to help support her and the family. She expected you to enhance her position in the community and in social circles.

She expected you to be a good role model for her children.

In other words, she expects you to conform to a certain preconceived role that she has formed in her mind. Like a Hollywood casting director, she expects you to look and act the part. And all the other men she has seen in that role are wearing trousers and threw by you are expected to follow suit.

Your own choices are no longer a factor, the longer you are married the more the expectation of conformity must exist. Take example where you are asked "what do you thinking about these as a new style for the bedroom." I have never, not one time been given a choice in anything other than a feminine floral print. Nothing in a manly or masculine form. We are under assault and I for one am not handling it well.