You can take control

You don't have to let problems run your life.
The determined pursuit of understanding will make most problems go away, and then you and your wife can solve the rest as you take a team approach to solving them, together, in a positive way.
Keep the problem, the problem, and keep your relationship the priority. Problems can be an opportunity to learn and grow together.
Talk with each other, learn and grow, and use effective problem solving methods with a positive, productive approach to the challenges you may face. This will keep your loving relationship alive and happy with mutual honesty, kindness, and respect.

No one really wins if one or the other throws in the towel and surrenders.